Marriages Worth Millions Presents:
Nine Principles of Proactive Parenting 
(adapted from Dr. Glenn Latham)

Module Two: The Ability to Seize Opportunities to Have Frequent Positive Interactions with Your Children
 

There is absolutely no substitute for positive and pleasant interactions between you and your children. Take every chance to acknowledge your children’s GOOD BEHAVIOR--whenever they are behaving appropriately, (in a good mood, playing nicely together, pleasant to be around, doing their chores as instructed, getting their homework completed, etc), SAY SO!

You don’t have to praise every single good behavior, but make it your goal to give a smile, a pat on the back, and sincere verbal acknowledgement several times an hour while in the company of your children. Each interaction only needs to take 3-4 seconds.  Note: be sure to distribute your praise and acknowledgements evenly among all the children.

Paying attention to positive behaviors is usually harder than paying attention to negative behaviors, and it will take a lot of practice. To increase your skill at this, take a few days and RECORD the quality of your interactions with your children. Recording your interactions, although inconvenient, is neccessary if you want to improve, because that which is measured increases.  Aim for at least 8 to 10 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction (click here for a copy of a tracking chart).

Tape reminder notes where you will see them to help you remember to praise your children for their specific good behaviors. If you don’t want your children to be able to read your reminders, you can use something in your environment to remind you, such as tilting a picture off level, putting a coin or popcorn kernel in your shoe, or intentionally putting a knick-knack out of place. 

UP NEXT: Module Three- The Ability to Clearly Establish and Communicate Your Expectations